Taking the fun out of some of them:
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
It is not a question of importance, it is question of how personal. Killing with forethought and malice/emotion is murder. Killing with forethought and impersonally is assassination.
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Round boxes are more costly to produce due to complexity or use as much cardboard but produce more waste at production as a square one and thus save nothing.
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
To avoid unnecessary voyeurism.
- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Use of "panties" to refer to one panty is an inflected use and not entirely grammatically correct and thus would be consistent with bra.
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Jimmy is cracking corn, speaking of himself in the third person, and he doesn't care because he is a slave and his master has died from a fly sting.
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Radios need not be waterproof.
A man has been charged after allegedly punching a 73-year-old woman in the face, breaking her nose and stabbing her in the arm with a corkscrew before hitting a second woman with a bottle at a wedding reception in the Whitsunday Islands.