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Herbert F. Kornfeld - RIP

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:10 pm
by Ian
The Onion killed off one of my favorite columnists. I guess should have known something was up as they brought back his column last week after a long hiatus.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_br ... e_violence

White-On-White Violence Claims Life Of Accounts Receivable Supervisor

POYNETTE, WI—Foul play is suspected in the death of an accounts receivable supervisor for a regional office-supply company, sheriff's deputies reported Tuesday.

Herbert F. Kornfeld, 34, was an alleged accounting gang leader considered by law enforcement to be a key player in a series of ongoing office worker turf wars. He was found dead Monday morning in the third-floor copy room of Midstate Office Supply, his employer of 12 years.

"We believe the victim was assaulted after hours Friday by an unknown individual or individuals," a Columbia County sheriff's departmaent spokesman said. "Though autopsy results are still pending, we believe the victim suffered fatal head trauma after his face was immobilized against the glass of a photocopier and repeatedly struck with the machine's cover."

Midstate Office Supply vice-president Howard Dinwiddie is expected this week to name accounts receivable assistant Irving Weinbaum, 23, as Kornfeld's successor.

PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:11 pm
by Ian

PostPosted: Wed May 02, 2007 9:10 am
by LoneWolf
I still miss the horoscopes as they were when they were "done" by "Lloyd Schumner Sr. -Retired Machinist and A.A.P.B.-Certified Astrologer". It just seemed that much more cynical. For a great example, I found this set:

http://bsdenton.blogspot.com/2004_09_01 ... chive.html

And when "What Do You Think?" was done by all six personalities they use. More opinions made it funnier.