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Humour Thread

Postby Bhairav on Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:14 am

Okay guys, post all your jokes in here.. we could all use some good laughs.
I'll start off :
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At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult,", Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and "y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. "I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.

Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line." President Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse tightens around their necks."
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I'll add more later.. you guys should post your jokes too.
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Postby JamieW on Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:22 am

There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.
A man has been charged after allegedly punching a 73-year-old woman in the face, breaking her nose and stabbing her in the arm with a corkscrew before hitting a second woman with a bottle at a wedding reception in the Whitsunday Islands.
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Postby aviationwiz on Tue Jun 22, 2004 1:20 pm

During a propaganda tour, President Bush visits a school to explain his politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions. Bobby stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 3 questions":
1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all times?
Before the president can answer, the recess bell rings, and the kids leave the room. After they came back, Bush invited them again to ask questions. Joey stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 5 questions":
1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist
attack of all times?
4. Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?
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Postby VEFF on Wed Jun 23, 2004 11:32 pm

Nice one wiz!
I needed a good laugh after getting the estimate to have a complete overhaul (converting 1 1/2 baths into 2 bathrooms).
That and the fact that my car is still in the repair shop after being whacked. They haven't even started work on it.
Luckily my parents live close by and my mother was willing to lend me her car.
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Postby pranav81 on Thu Jun 24, 2004 9:10 am

LOL.


:lol: :lol: :lol:


::Pranav::
Increasingly mathematics will demand the courage to face its implications.
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