thanks for you guys support. Thanks a ton for the advice with Jennifer too.
this is going be kind of long so sorry in advance! this has nothing to do with my ER but my next post below will
a few times I have wantted to tell her "if we aren't a couple we need to see less of each other untill we are" But it is so hard. I just can't ever come to it. She doesn't seem to intrested in these other guys, but it still worries me
I don't know if I can tell her tonight. because i think it is an in person thing to do. I don't want her to be hurt either.
Recently she asked me on our car ride home from Disneyland (thursday nite) what I had learn from her. I said let me think about it; and then she said "what I have learned from you is how to really know how to love someone. how to be courted correctly. "
Also this happen pretty recently
her and i went together to the dance and shortly after being there, we were seperated for the whole dance (about 70 mins) while she talked to this other guy. I was pretty frusterated and just try to let it go. thinking what will be will be. I also was very hurt. It was about midnight and the dance was still going and i needed to go home. So i told her while she was sitting with this guy, 'hey jennifer i need to go home' she said to give her five mins. and intro. me to this guy who i shooked hands with while feeling pretty crestfallen. As I went to the car, I kind of just was really down so i called a friend we talked for a sec, he said his "i am sorry" and then Jennifer came to the car (orignally expecting that she might be driving my car home). but i was in the driver seat, and i heard her say to this guy, Oh i guess i am not driving. I open her door from the inside cause i was too frusterated to get out.
She then asked me how was the dance for me. And i explained that I was really bored, and I missed her. Also that I was frusterated but I would just except it and get over it in time. She said that she was so sorry, her friend was real sad about something; and I told her, "that is good to know for myself. I am sorry that I felt frusterated; I didn't know and it was okay now that I understood that he was sad." She contuine to say she was sorry and she wantted to make it up to me. I said, her "being with me now is all that I need along with sometime to ease the pain." She then said on the way home.
"I can really tell you love me, even with all my fualts" and I just said "yes I do love you that much"
Yesterday as i sat in the ER waiting to be worked on like some Junkie Compaq PC that had ran out of RAM and Virtual Memory as well as Hard Drive Space. I thought about the question jennifer asked me on thursday nite on our way home. And it hit me that what I had learn from her is how to really love someone no matter what. I told her that friday nite and then she told me she loved me a minute later.
It makes it even harder to tell someone you love hey we have to date less, cause it puts kind of a preasure of
"this time i need to know, i really must be told if it's over...
..it's up to you, you know; the things you want to hold"
The Smashing Pumpkins - This Time