Home News Reviews Forums Shop


When do you end a relationship

General discussion. Come introduce yourself. Talk about whataver you want!

Postby F1Pilot on Sun Jan 18, 2004 7:46 pm

Never heard of it, UALOneKPlus. Who stars in it? Is it an overseas movie?
I teach Music 101
User avatar
F1Pilot
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 628
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:41 pm

Postby UALOneKPlus on Sun Jan 18, 2004 9:36 pm

F1Pilot wrote:Never heard of it, UALOneKPlus. Who stars in it? Is it an overseas movie?


It's a Japanese movie, about Samurais and Ninjas, but done in an ultra modern style.

I was hoping cfitz might have some more recommendations about movies like this, since he seems to be very knowledgeable about the Asian culture.

Here's a link to Amazon about this movie.

It's so different than all the movies I've been watching, it's very refreshing.

I rented it from my local video store, and am very glad I did :)
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
-Danny Kaye
User avatar
UALOneKPlus
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 8:28 am

Postby F1Pilot on Sun Jan 18, 2004 10:23 pm

Seems to have been released in 1998. Thanks for the linkage on it, UALOneKPlus! Reviews are subjective, but I can't ignore the fact that even on other sources on the net liked the movie. I'll have to check it out.

Is it overdubbed or subtitled? *crossing fingers for an overdub*
I teach Music 101
User avatar
F1Pilot
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 628
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:41 pm

Postby UALOneKPlus on Sun Jan 18, 2004 10:55 pm

F1Pilot wrote:Seems to have been released in 1998. Thanks for the linkage on it, UALOneKPlus! Reviews are subjective, but I can't ignore the fact that even on other sources on the net liked the movie. I'll have to check it out.

Is it overdubbed or subtitled? *crossing fingers for an overdub*


It's subtitled, which I think I like better.

I really enjoyed Crouching Tiger the same way. When I watched a dubbed version of Crouching Tiger on a flight once, I couldn't believe how awful it was.

This is a pretty uplifting movie, so people who are down will really get a lift out of it! :D
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
-Danny Kaye
User avatar
UALOneKPlus
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 8:28 am

Postby F1Pilot on Sun Jan 18, 2004 11:10 pm

I like overdubs. That way, I pay more attention to what's going on.

Ever seen Volcano High on MTV?
I teach Music 101
User avatar
F1Pilot
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 628
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:41 pm

Postby UALOneKPlus on Mon Jan 19, 2004 12:25 am

F1Pilot wrote:I like overdubs. That way, I pay more attention to what's going on.

Ever seen Volcano High on MTV?


Yea, that was dubbed by all the hip hop stars, very novel concept!

The voice was 1000% better than the awful job on Crouching Tiger.

BTW Samurai Fiction is directed by a MTV Japan guy, so it's pretty hip. :wink:
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
-Danny Kaye
User avatar
UALOneKPlus
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 8:28 am

Postby F1Pilot on Mon Jan 19, 2004 8:54 pm

UALOneKPlus wrote:BTW Samurai Fiction is directed by a MTV Japan guy, so it's pretty hip. :wink:
NO WAY! I'm there! I'm sure it'll be interesting. That's for the factoid! 8)
I teach Music 101
User avatar
F1Pilot
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 628
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:41 pm

Postby VEFF on Tue Jan 20, 2004 11:55 am

Thank you all for your support!
I know we (members) don't know each other by face and haven't met in person, but it is still very nice to know that there are good people out there, willing to provide moral support.

My girlfriend and I had a *long* talk (the one I asked to have) and we really went over everything that was on our minds.
It was VERY productive!!!

We are committed to making it work, and will both do what it takes - we didn't have time (it was 11:30 PM when we finished our talk) to formulate a plan for some of the things that require medication / therapy, but we will see each other soon.

We had a very nice day, and even had time to go out for dinner and a drive!

I feel like a new man today. :)

Of course the future is never certain, but if we still fail down the road, at least we will have done everything we could...
Not that I think it won't work; quite the contrary!
I just want people to know that I know life isn't always perfect ;)
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Postby Ian on Tue Jan 20, 2004 12:13 pm

I haven't been married as long as some people, but the key to a good relationship is communication. The fact that you two can talk about your problems and commit to making it work says a lot for your relationship. I wish the best of luck to both of you.
"Blu-ray is just a bag of hurt." - Steve Jobs
User avatar
Ian
Grand Poobah
 
Posts: 14882
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2001 2:34 pm
Location: Madison, WI

Postby VEFF on Tue Jan 20, 2004 12:21 pm

Thanks a lot Ian!!!

I always said and felt, to those who asked me for advice (via discussing their relationships) that communication is key, since often one party doesn't know what the other one feels is wrong with the other party's actions and/or the relationship, and vice versa.
One can't change or correct what one doesn't know is wrong in the first place.

I know talking about problems and issues may not always be easy, but if a relationship is undergoing a rocky stage, it is a hundred times better than the alternative IMO!
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Postby dodecahedron on Tue Jan 20, 2004 2:15 pm

great news, veff. :D
i wish the best for the both of you, hope you manage to iron out the kinks and have a great time toghether.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Mordor, where the Shadows lie
-- JRRT
M.C. Escher - Reptilien
User avatar
dodecahedron
DVD Polygon
 
Posts: 6865
Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2002 12:04 am
Location: Israel

Postby dolphinius_rex on Tue Jan 20, 2004 4:37 pm

Good luck VEFF! I wish you both the best :)
Punch Cards -> Paper Tape -> Tape Drive -> 8" Floppy Diskette -> 5 1/4" Floppy Diskette -> 3 1/2" "Flippy" Diskette -> CD-R -> DVD±R -> BD-R

The Progression of Computer Media
User avatar
dolphinius_rex
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 6923
Joined: Fri Jan 31, 2003 6:14 pm
Location: Vancouver B.C. Canada

Postby VEFF on Tue Jan 20, 2004 6:28 pm

Thanks a lot dodecahedron and dolphinius_rex!!
I enjoy this forum (the only one I really frequent on a regular basis, because there are truly a lot of friendly members here. :)

I know we BOTH really want to make it work, which is obviously critical.
I also think half the battle was not knowing what the issues were/are.
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Postby F1Pilot on Tue Jan 20, 2004 8:42 pm

That sounds like good news to me, VEFF. Ian is 100% correct with the communication being key. In your case, the fact that the BOTH of you took the time to sit down is important. It's when one person wants to just throw in the towel is when it's bad. With the communication thing, my wife and I have this thing where we don't go to bed angry. We're lucky...it works.

I teach Music 101
User avatar
F1Pilot
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 628
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 5:41 pm

Postby VEFF on Sun Sep 19, 2004 9:11 am

As a sad update:
My girlfriend and I are no longer together.
We broke up a month ago, after almost two years together; ironically it was the day I moved into my house (from a condo).

There is a lot to this, and I can't write it all here.

Unfortunately I feel that a number of things caused us to drift apart, and I regret not trying harder and letting it progress to where it got, although there were things that made my distance myself somewhat from the relationship.

She said on the day we broke up "you should have been my husband".
She was the one pushing more for the breakup this time; the previous short breakup was mutual (that one only lasted one week, and we don't usually see each other during the week; the first time we discussed possibly breaking up was the weekend of this thread; I was the one who instigated that one).

She called me a few times right after the breakup this time.
We spoke during those calls. I didn't write or call after that for a full month - I was thinking things through. When I did reestablish contact I wrote. She replied as soon as she got home from the holiday weekend (1AM). She wrote again, "as I said that day [when we broke up] you should have been my husband". I got the impression there was still a chance we could try one last time.
We spoke a couple of times the next day (shorter conversation from work and a long one from home).
The conversation from home ended with the fact that we had tried for two years (I really feel I didn't try hard after a while due to problems between us and doubts about our future).
She still loves me and says she always will; she also said I could call and/or write every day and she would be there (as a friend).
She did ask why I waited a month; and said if I felt so strongly why didn't I do something sooner, like, for example, show up at her place and say I wanted to be with her (i.e. couldn't be without her). In other words, I think she was still waiting for me to make a move. There are a number of reasons why I didn't.
She says she wants to be happy and that she hasn't felt that way in a long time; however there are also lots of things too personal to her state of mind and personality that I can't write here that played on my mind and made me hesitate and diminished our relationship from my point of view.

I am confident that someone at her new job is giving her advice; she changed dramatically after going to that job.
She has more self esteem, it seems, which is a great thing.
She also earlier on in the relationship had said she wasn't good enough for me (I have had most women say that at one point of another - I think it is a combination of lack of self esteem - I attract those kinds of women since I am easy-going and approachable and caring in terms of their problems and I also have thankfully led a very fortunate life in terms of family, health, career and being able to live in multiple countries along the way; the women had all been hurt by family events or boyfriends in the past, most [I only had a few serious relationships, so most sounds strange, but anyway...] also had divorced parents).
Before me she almost got married to a loser she met online in a chat room of mutual interest (its theme was one of her hobbies); her family had to convince her to cancel it - her sister who is usually quiet and reserved stormed out of the house one day saying she didn't want her to get married to this guy who apparently had an eye for her sister. Before that she also dated a guy for four years (puppy love) who didn't treat her well and whose mother didn't like her and said some very mean things, especially when they broke up. Her family loved me.

It is complicated to say the least.
I still love her very much and miss her.
There may still be a chance, but I don't know if I want to get engaged
in order to get her back (she is 36 and her clock is ticking as is that of all women her age or younger); some of her traits worried me and she had some health issues that affected her mental state. She says that some, even many, of her traits were brought on by not getting as much out of our relationship as she thought she would. We had started out very very romantically and everything was close to perfect at the very beginning.**
She possesses many great qualities (very loving, caring, concerned for my well being).
I admit that there were periods, mostly near the beginning of our relationship, when I was more into PC stuff than I should have been and that I took the relationship for granted.
Big mistakes, I know.

I wrote her on Friday, and haven't heard back.
I don't know if she is away (she wanted to go to visit he father this summer; her parents are divorce) or if she doesn't know how to respond -I mentioned in my e-mail that I had hoped we could try again (something to that effect), but that I understood her explanations and that I would never want her to feel pressured.

Anyway, I wanted to give an update, thank you all again for your input and support, and maybe even realize some things in the process of writing this post.

Have a nice Sunday all!

** One last thing: I suggest, as a friendly reminder, that others here
try not to take their relationships for granted and/or let them get to the point where they are just part of the every day cycle.
Try to do romantic and special things at least once in a while.
I know with our jobs and other responsibities (buying a house e.g.) priorites can easily become shifted.
I know I could have done lots of things better, despite the fact that I had my concerns which made me distance myself from the relationship thinking it wasn't going to work out.
I, unlike others perhaps, can't pretend nothing is wrong and continue to be actively in the relationship when I have serious concerns.
If only I had known (if it is true) that much of her state of mind was due to being unsatisfied in the relationship.
I take responsibility for all the things I could have done better and will pay the price, if any.

If only I knew exactly what was right in this situation.
I have mixed feelings; on the one hand I love her very very much) even though I didn't show it enough when we were together - big mistake) and I know she does love me very much too. However, based on things that happened, I worry about what the future might gold for us.
I wish I knew whether I should propose or move on...

Thanks for listening (if you even read this far :) )
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Postby BuddhaTB on Tue Sep 21, 2004 1:20 pm

I must be really bored at work to have read all of what you typed out VEFF.

It's unfortunate that your relationship turned out this way, but I wish you the best of luck in your future Eendeavors and relationships. As the saying goes, "You know its true love when you let someone go and they come back to you." For the time being, just move on and enjoy your life as you need a break to re-evaluate things.
User avatar
BuddhaTB
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 1865
Joined: Thu Aug 22, 2002 8:50 pm
Location: Southern California (LA & Orange County)

Postby MonteLDS on Tue Sep 21, 2004 1:50 pm

veff gets the dirty detail of his story written out so elegant. I love it.

Sorry to hear that things did not work out. But their must be pain to heal
User avatar
MonteLDS
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 989
Joined: Fri Nov 08, 2002 2:32 pm
Location: San Fran Bay Area CALIFORNIA

Postby VEFF on Tue Sep 21, 2004 10:23 pm

Thanks Buddha and Monte!
Yes, it is amazing that you had time to read it all at work :)
I have been very busy lately and have a conference call with Singapore
at 10:15 (1 minute from now).

She and I spoke yesterday; she received the e-mail I sent Friday
on Monday, since she was out much of the weekend and may have initially missed it with all the junk mail.

We are going to have dinner next week, so she can she how the house is turning out and so we can see each other.

I don't know if I will get another chance; we shall see.

The conversation was very nice and we both said how much this relationship meant to us.
She also said how painful it would be if we tried again and it didn't work out; I think it was hard enough on her that it didn't work out and she was trying to move on; although she she still misses me and loves me, just as I do her.
If nothing else we will remain best friends, which is how we started out.
I do think there may be (it depends on her and how the dinner goes, I think) potential that we could try again, as long as I REALLY show her how I feel and don't take her for granted.
I'll keep you posted.

Good luck with Jenn, Monte!
Go with your heart, but know that if it doesn't work, you are still young
AND that you gave it your all...
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Postby dodecahedron on Wed Sep 22, 2004 2:58 am

i wish you the best. :D
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Mordor, where the Shadows lie
-- JRRT
M.C. Escher - Reptilien
User avatar
dodecahedron
DVD Polygon
 
Posts: 6865
Joined: Sat Mar 09, 2002 12:04 am
Location: Israel

Postby VEFF on Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:50 am

Thanks dodeca! I really appreciate it!

She wrote late las night that today is supposed to be a beautiful day
and asked if we can push the dinner forward to tonight.
She mentioned she will be busy next week preparing for her trip: she is going down south for vacation next week and possibly permanently.
I wonder if she is reconsidering and pushed forward the dinner to see what happens.

No matter what happens, at least I tried...
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Postby UALOneKPlus on Wed Sep 29, 2004 11:11 pm

WOW Veff!!!!

Pretty powerful and emotional stuff.

Best of luck with this tough event. Sometimes it's what's needed to move both parties forward to an eventual resolution, whether that means the couple stays together or go separate ways.

Don't focus on it too much. If it's meant to be, you will get together again!!!
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
-Danny Kaye
User avatar
UALOneKPlus
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 1082
Joined: Sun Jan 05, 2003 8:28 am

Postby VEFF on Thu Sep 30, 2004 12:04 am

UALOneKPlus wrote:WOW Veff!!!!

Pretty powerful and emotional stuff.

Best of luck with this tough event. Sometimes it's what's needed to move both parties forward to an eventual resolution, whether that means the couple stays together or go separate ways.

Don't focus on it too much. If it's meant to be, you will get together again!!!


Thanks a lot for the kind wishes UALOneKPlus.
I appreciate it!

What makes things worse is that she has said twice recently that even up until we broke up (August 1) and right after, she would have stayed with me and tried to make it work, if I asked her THEN to stay and not break up (she was half hoping I would drive after her the day she broke up).
When I didn't contact her for a full month, she started to move on, since it had all been so hard (she thought with me she had finally met THE ONE and nobody else had made her feel like I did; unfortunately she felt like she was never number one for me "other things always came first").

Anyway, like you said, if it is meant to be, it will be.

What makes it harder for her, is that her career is not where she wants it to be, and mine is going very well.
She wants to be indetpendent financially and likve apart from her mother -she still lives at home.

We both still love each other very much, which actually makes it harder for both of us, of course.
We have been talking once or twice a week lately.
Burners only:
Pioneer DVR-115D
Pioneer DVR-111D
Plextor PX-716A TLA0304
Plextor PX-716A same TLA

LiteOn 52246S 52X CD-RW
LiteOn 52246S (another)
LiteOn 52327S 52X CD-RW
TDK 40X USB 2.0 CD-RW
TEAC CD-W540E 40X CD-RW
User avatar
VEFF
CD-RW Player
 
Posts: 2025
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2002 9:36 pm

Previous

Return to The Beer Garden

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Majestic-12 [Bot] and 0 guests

All Content is Copyright (c) 2001-2017 CDRLabs Inc.