Well, that's it folks...Thanks for all the help and ideas!
I have now returned my LG 8525B, and received a new one in exchange. Luckily for me, the new burner came with firmware 1.02 already installed!

This little fact will likely save me countless hours of frustration, and another trip to the RMA department of NCIX.com
You can expect more test results on those 32x CD-RWs soon

Punch Cards -> Paper Tape -> Tape Drive -> 8" Floppy Diskette -> 5 1/4" Floppy Diskette -> 3 1/2" "Flippy" Diskette -> CD-R -> DVD±R -> BD-R
The Progression of Computer Media